going home

Date: Saturday, February 25, 2006
Time: 9:34:00 PM

latest post

so it's a boring saturday night.
actually i have got tonnes of work to do, but jus dun feel like touching any of them. haha.

watched 'brokeback mountain' in the room with pk jus now. got the dvd from one of the indonesian friends. oh my gosh. the show really traumatized me, and at the same time i found it funny too. we were practically screaming and laughing throughout the whole show. it's jus hard to express my disgust towards the show through words. i was utterly disgusted watching two muscular, macho men hugging, kissing and having sex with each other. the show jus doesnt seem to make sense to me. i was trying hard to comprehend( i really was!) the kind of love, connection and attachment between two men that the show was trying to depict but i jus couldn't get it. i dun understand how two person of the same sex can attract each other so much, to the point that they can have sex with each other.
omg. well, shld just try to accept it. afterall strange things are everywhere on earth. =)

there seems to be some conflicts between us and the 's' gang. i mean, they may not know that we are unhappy with them. it's like, we are glad that u are willing to share with us about the project that u are doing, and we all know that u are very passionate about it. but not to the point that u can totally leave us out during every conversation and make us feel that we are really extra.
not that we are jealous that we are not part of it. nor are we interested in the things that u do. in fact we dun give a damn to what u are so excited over.
we jus think that as a person living in a cosmopolitan society, u should learn to be sensitive and not to say things that can bring people around you down. it cant bring u anywhere if u continue to be like this. we are really pissed. very pissed.
and there's this X person, he like sounded really rude to pk on the phone. but didnt even bother to say sorry. what can i say. sighs.

waiting impatiently for march holidays to come. oh gosh. heard that there will be GP common test on the 1st monday of hols. but that's ok, at least i can be sure that i will be free after that. looking forward to class outing at sentosa too. my VERY FIRST OUTING this year with my classmates. HEEZ. i will make sure that i'm free on that day. think after that we have to really start chiong-ing for 'A' already.

okies. tada.

Date: Friday, February 24, 2006
Time: 9:08:00 PM

got back chem test today. and it was disappointing.
mr chua said that our class did better compared to the previous test, and guess wat? the percentage failures in our class is lower compared to the top class.
but still, it was disappointing. i didnt do as good as what i have expected. i thought i would have scored a B or better but i just managed to pass. but i'm not gonna give up, i will try and try and try. i dun believe in such thing called 'inborn talents'. i only believe in hardwork and the blessing from God. i will try until i get an A and i know i will one day. haha. watch me how to shove a fist in the face of adversity people! =) jia you beii people, we will try harder next time, ok?

so maths test is over. i think it was ok. when i say a test is ok i mean it is manageable. and should be able to score ok for it. and when i say i will score ok i mean i will not fail it. haha. just miss the long gone wonderful feeling of scoring full marks in a test.

just thinking about what was discussed during chinese lesson today. why is it that the faces of the babies, regardless of their family background, no matter how chaotic their families are, or how poor they are, they still look cute and adorable.
but as time goes by, the faces start to get unpleasant.
unhappiness, arrogance, sadness start to be shown on the faces.
and what is worse is that some of these faces start to have their evil and hideous side revealed. as we grow older, we become more and more unhappy and troubled.
but what to do, this is how life supposed to be and this is also the cruelty that everyone shld learn to face and to accept. so yup, the moral of the story is, no matter how bad the situation is, bear with it and it will eventually change for the better. have faith. yup.
so ya. to my dear classmates. eventhough we didnt do well, or even failed our tests, dun look back alright? we work hard together and we will make it at the end.
there's really no big deal about failing as long as we learn. many teachers told us that and i think it really makes sense.
it may be disappointing but we will move on.
we can't afford to slow down just because of an insignificant failure.
so cheer up people.

Date: Monday, February 20, 2006
Time: 10:25:00 PM

yes!!! i feel so good now. finally the problem was solved. no one can possibly understand how relieved i finally am now. the problem that i have been worrying for so long no longer exists. it's officially gone. haha. only those friends who are close enough to me will understand what problem i'm referring to =) so chenhui is happy and relaxed now. no more vicious cycle of poverty. but still, there's a lesson learnt. must learn to really control my usage of the phone. or else the bill will once again be disrupting my peaceful life that i am currently having. and, be thrifty always. must always bear in mind that your parents are earning ringgit and not dollar. =)

was jus thinking about the j1s this year. they are like so poor thing i think. the syllabus that they are learning are so much more difficult than those that we are learning. jus not long ago i saw one of the j1s holding a thick set of notes with the word 'mechanics' on it. i was like 'wow!'. they havent even got back their 'o'level results at that time and the school already started freaking them out. to be more politically correct, those things that our batch is learning are really relatively less tormenting. at least we dun have what H1 and H2 combi which i have no idea at all what it's all about. and contrasting subject? no thanks. i am already stressed enough doing two sciences and chinese A now. and guess wat? this batch of j1s no longer has the tradition of having 1st three months of enjoyment. the 'o' level results were actually released in early feb. compared to our batch, we really enjoyed our '1st three months' to the fullest. really miss that period of time. that was the only period that we could totally let down our guts, studied for the interests and not under any form of pressure.

oh yeah. i feel good. really good. it feels fantanstic being able to live a normal life again. i'm here to bid farewell to flu, cough and what ever viruses that were in me not long ago. hope not to have any chance to encounter with u all again. haha.

alrites. stop here.
cheerios.

Date: Friday, February 17, 2006
Time: 9:56:00 PM

so we din manage to win anything for the school.
but we are all winners in our own ways.
actually i was quite disappointed cuz we dint even have any nomination. so when ms wan was giving us the debrief, telling us that she was proud of us eventhough we dint win, i really felt like crying. and i saw juli trying hard not to cry too.
finally when ms ling was talking to us, i couldnt take it anymore and my tears rolled down.
not that i felt sad becuz we dint win anything. the things that they said were jus so touching and i'm jus the kind of very touchy person.
but there's one thing i must say. i think our exhibition booth rocks. though it's not as grand as the pj and ny's one, ours had lotsa information and could tell that lotsa effort was put in in setting that up. and i will remember the wonderful residential experience at ntu. we have really learnt a lot.
so no matter what. i think we still rock.
thanks
jason, ivan, yifan, juli, celine, xiling, kewei
and all the supervising tutors ms ling, ms ng, mr ler

WE ARE THE VICTORS. HURREY!~

Date: Thursday, February 16, 2006
Time: 6:35:00 PM

it's quite rare that i actually update my blog two days in a row.
but i'm really excited now.
finally ntu jc challege is over. the exhibition marked the end of our two months of hardwork.
though in comparison with some other colleges like rj, ny...our presentation and exhibition were not as outstanding, we were satisfied with what we had.
it's like we have tried our best, so there is really no regrets.=)

yup juz a very short update. tomorrrow is the grand finale and prize presentation.
hopefully we will be able to win some awards for the school. pray hard......

alrights. three cheers for our team. we rock.

bye.

Date: Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Time: 11:07:00 PM

jus finished my 2nd chem test today and i am feeling so good now. no more mugging for the time being. =)
becuz of the test, i didnt sleep well yesterday.
i have always been like that. oways tend to stress myself out whenever there's test. when everything is perfectly fine i will always make myself feel uneasy by telling myself that it's not alright...
it's like...by doing that i will be more motivated to study?
haha. that's crap. if that's really the case i would have done so much better for my so many tests.
jus think that chem is hard. physics is still better.=)

jus think that i love my friends.
though i am closer to my family, i feel that for the three years that i have been in singapore, i wouldnt have been able to survive through so many hurdles without the presence of true friends. i mean those friends who are really sincere and willing to help you whenever u're in need.
there are some friends that i feel that i must thank now.
to all pals, happy friendship day oki?
hope that our friendship will go everlasting...haha.

still remember when i 1st came here, sansan and fong chi were like my two big sisters.
eventhough we came at the same time, i was always the only one who had homesickness, and always cried. now come to think about it i find it very funny and stupid.
whenever i was 'pouring', the two of them would sit next to me telling me not to cry, and that we would all get to go home soon.
i always wonder how they felt at that time. maybe they missed home and felt like crying also.
but being the elder ones, they felt responsible to take care of the younger ones and therefore learnt to control their emotions.
thanks a lot to the two of you.
though we went the separate ways after 'o'levels, i will always remember you.
to my bros eric and shaun, i wun forget u too!

next are the friends i got to know in jj.
they have always been the ones bringing me the laughters, making me feel so comfortable in this foreign environment.
thanks for the supports also.
xh, grace, kfc, wj, yf, ben, al, bb...and all my other classmates in 05s13.
love u all loads!

thanks for the 2005 o1 and o2 f2 ogls also. dun ask me why. they are jus the ones who made my jc life become so memorable.
thanks guys.

then is the asean gang.
pk, jess, c+t, vat, ngel and many others.
thanks for helping me with my work, and for sharing my probems.
u guys rock.
esp to both my previous and current rommies, hanh and pk.
thanks for tolerating with me and being so understanding.

and most importantly, my one and only bestest yenmeai.
u totally rock!
it's been like 8 years. hope our friendship will last till the end of time.
u have always been the one who understands me the most.
whenever we get together we will have endless subjects to talk about. haha.
miss ya loads. must take care alright?
we jia you together.
dun forget our promise. what will we do when we are 60 years old? =)

alrights. i feel so stupid. sounds like i'm leaving for somewhere else soon.
hah.

kies. thats all.
cheerios.

Date: Sunday, February 12, 2006
Time: 9:50:00 AM

i'm back to blogging.
lotsa things happen these days and many of them jus dun go the way i want them to be.
like i was supposed to complete my tutorials and assignments before the dateline, i dint manage to do so because of stupid flu.
and i was supposed to be the one presenting for the ntu jc challenge but i dint manage to do so cuz i was absent from the rehearsal due to my sickness again. AGAIN.
i was supposed to do so many other things but dint manage to becuz of my poor health these days.
i seriously dunno what's wrong.
i try to drink as much water as i can, and try to get a lot of rest. but it doesnt seem to change for the better.
it's at the time when u're sick that u miss home the most.
i miss mom. it will be so good if i'm at home now.
i guess only those people who are away from home will understand how i feel now.
like when u're sick and there's no one there to take care of you.
sometimes u have u go all the way to the clinic alone to see the doctor, even when u're very very sick. i emphasize the word 'alone'.
yes, there are friends. but they cant possibly take care of u all the time. there are times when u jus have to settle things all by urself.
hopefully i can get well soon.
i hate flu, i hate cough.
they disrupt my work, make me feel tired and sleepy.

sigh. i know this is demoralizing but life simply sucks these days.
work has been piling up and there are so many tests coming.
and when i'm still struggling trying to understand a particular topic, the lecturers start to teach a new topic. i really dunno when on earth i will be able to master all the topics well.
long long sigh.

thats all....
bye..

Date: Saturday, February 4, 2006
Time: 9:50:00 PM

something really bad happened yesterday.
the four of them got scolded by mr chua in class during chem lesson. and all of us were like so quiet. nobody dared to utter a word.
i was particularly disappointed with them. it wasnt the 1st time mr chua scolded them in front of everyone and until now they are still unwilling to stop being so lazy and to buck up.
if i were them, i would have done something to make it up, to prove my worth and to prove that im not that useless afterall.
i really dont know what they are thinking.
really hope that they will wake up soon.
and hope that they will take in the encouragement and the advice from the friends around them.
we are already in j2 and we have really no time, NO TIME AT ALL to play with...
long long sigh...

im jus thinking about this. very often we tend to judge a book by its cover. im not an exception too. but now then i realise that i have been really silly.
met ET at jurong east bustop few weeks ago. i thought he looked so good at that time.
after that i came across his blog and found out that his personality sucks.
he was commenting on this particular singer who is apparently visually handicapped and jus won the 1st place in a local singing competition not long ago.( think it's obvious enough who this person is)
he was saying that his singing sucks and he dislikes him to the point that he hates him.
he even said that the blind people shld jus stay in the dark forever and stuffs like that.
oh well. i do agree that his singing is bad. but why cant he jus have a little compassion and not despise him?
his life is miserable enuf. he was trying to live life as normal as he could. why did he have to be so mean?
sigh. jus cant stand people like that.
to me, if you do not have what it takes to be a good person, your good look, intelligence and whatever talents u have are simply craps.
im sorry. u really suck, ET.

have been feeling really unwell these days.
having cough and flu. maybe bcuz i ate too much of unhealthy food during cny. blame the weather also. haha.
hope to get well soon...

alritess...
time to stop...
cheerios.